News

One Trusted Adult

I recently read Brooklyn Raney’s One Trusted Adult. A longtime independent school teacher, coach, and administrator, Raney surveys the research – and provides page after page of colorful anecdotes drawn from her experience in schools – about how critical it is that an adolescent feels a connection to at least one trusted adult mentor outside the home. The research tells us that that kind of relationship is a protective factor against a range of behavioral and mental health issues. It also opens the door to student learning, productivity, curiosity, and engagement in school and beyond; kids learn when they feel safe and seen. These insights are why we commit so deeply to our advising system, insist on small classes, encourage one-on-one extra help with teachers, and aspire that every one of our students will be known and loved by the adults in this community. 

Raney also discusses the seemingly contradictory – but deeply important – insight that adult-student boundaries are a key ingredient in creating that close connection. Every year during our faculty-staff in-service retreat, we engage in training with outside counsel on boundaries; we review policies and discuss a series of case studies to explore what is appropriate mentorship and what crosses the line. Student safety concerns are paramount. But we also dig into this work to reinforce what the research tells us: kids may say they want their teachers to be their friends, but what they really need are mentors –  adults who care for them enough to create appropriate distance and guardrails in order to give students the space they need to get their needs met.

While the book is written for educators, it may be interesting for parents as well and is a quick, entertaining read.

Our Seniors

Last night, the faculty and staff gathered with our seniors and their families to celebrate the Class of 2023. It was an intimate moment before Monday’s public commencement ceremony. We heard an emotionally powerful reflection by senior Lizzie Seward, laughed along with a funny address by alumni relations director and fan favorite Mr. Stone, and marveled at an amazing video filmed and produced by senior Rohan Biju consisting of interviews of all of his classmates (I’m told there is a much longer version for seniors’ eyes only – hmm). Mostly, it gave us a chance to be together and enjoy one another’s company.

That, to me, is a defining characteristic of the Class of 2023: strong, tight, loyal bonds. This group has come through the storm. As ninth graders, they went home in March 2020 to end the year remotely. They came back as sophomores to a school that offered in-person learning but where many of our traditions, social occasions, arts experiences, and athletic offerings were curtailed in light of the ongoing pandemic. Their junior year was marked by the tragic loss of one of their beloved teachers. During and likely because of these challenges, these young people formed remarkably close friendships. I saw those tight-knit circles of friendship in the room last night. I saw them in Rohan’s video. I have seen them every day in these hallways, on the fields, and in the junior-senior room. These are the friends who will offer advice and support through college and early careers, celebrate their weddings and the births of their children, and stay with them. Through a particularly challenging four years, this group has given itself a gift: lifelong friendship.

The Class of 2023 – talented, hard-working, competitive, curious, diverse – will leave this school in a few days better than they found it and will leave us all with a lesson in what matters most: relationships.

Teaching is about Relationships

Last Saturday, we celebrated this school’s 30th year with a wonderful celebration at the Museum of Fine Arts. Early in the program, we all watched a video featuring teachers past and present, parents, alumni, and others talking about their BUA journeys. Every time a teacher appeared on the screen, the audience spontaneously erupted in applause and cheers. While those of us who planned the event did not anticipate that response, we were not surprised either.

Teaching is about relationships. Over the past few weeks, I’ve visited about a dozen classes. Styles and content varied. But what was consistent was a deep, palpable trust between teachers and students. Teachers joked, praised, challenged, and cajoled – all with the clear subtext that they loved these young people. Students, feeling secure in that love, spoke up, tried new approaches, took risks, laughed, struggled, and demonstrated the vulnerability it takes to learn and grow. 

We know that kids learn from people they trust – that emotional safety and connection open the door to learning. Michael Reichert and Joseph Nelson, whom I had the pleasure of collaborating with on several projects years ago, offered an evidence-backed overview of this idea in the context of boys’ education. David Brooks wrote a powerful, personal version of this story in an opinion piece. And, for anybody looking for a pick me up, I suggest this TED talk by Rita Pierson. In the end, though, all we need is to think about our own experiences – about a teacher who took the time to get to know us and saw something in us that perhaps we didn’t even see in ourselves. Those people changed our lives. And we are blessed to have a school full of them here at BUA.

“Look What I Started!”

I recently attended BUA’s first-ever Shark Tank-style business plan competition. Our students pitched their entrepreneurial ideas to a panel of judges – everything from sustainably sourced protein powders to an organizational app for students to keep track of homework and other assignments. There were quite a few pitches, and the room was filled with student spectators cheering them on. A few weeks earlier, I attended BUA’s first-ever hackathon: Hack@BUA. BUA students organized and ran a competition for dozens of middle and high school students across the Boston area challenging them to come up with a technological solution to a pressing societal challenge.

BUA students dreamed up these events. With the support of the adults in the community, the students planned and executed them. And, in both cases, they are already thinking about what these events will look like next year. They will be part of these students’ legacies hopefully long after they graduate.

We know that having a sense of purpose plays a central role in happiness and fulfillment, and that purpose comes from engaging in something that is both personally meaningful and meaningful to others. Through these types of experiences, these students got a taste of just that. If that taste turns into a lifelong habit, that will be a boon not just to these students, but to all of us.

Listening to Students

I just finished up lunch with a 9/10th-grade advisory group. Over pizza, the nine students told me about what their day-to-day is like; what they love about BUA; what’s hard; and what they wish was different. A few pieces were news to me. Most were things I had heard about before, and the conversation gave me a chance to tell them about exciting new things that are already in the works and for us to brainstorm about how, working together, we can make BUA better. I’ll meet with all 9/10 advisories this spring and will set up open sessions for juniors and seniors as well – like I do every year. 

We are a better school for giving students a chance to tell us about their lived experiences; they are, after all, the experts! And we are better when we give them agency – the permission and power to make change by working in partnership with the adults in the community. This year, one of our seniors led a senior-experience working group made up of students, faculty, and staff; the group was charged with suggesting ways to enhance the 12th-grade year. Our standing DEIB committee is a collaboration between BUA adults and students; the topic at yesterday’s DEIB meeting was how we recognize, commemorate, and celebrate different traditions and cultural heritages at BUA throughout the year and what specific initiatives we can put in place for next year. Our Student Council is perhaps the most important and visible force for student-led change at BUA – sponsoring events, recommending policy changes, and generally advocating ways to improve this school they love so much. And the list goes on. We talk a great deal about how capable, passionate, and thoughtful our students are. What a shame it would be if we did not hear what’s on their minds and work alongside them to make BUA better.